Goodbye Sweet Larry

This post has taken me a long time to write.

It's been close to 3 months since Larry and Ginger took their last sojourn out together.

I still berate myself for not tying them up that day.

I remember distinctly looking at them both that morning and deciding, 'nah, I won't tie them up. They'll be ok...'

Boy was that one of the worst decisions I ever made.

We haven't heard a peep from anyone about Larry or where he might have ended up. We have yet to find his body anywhere. And to be honest, I'm not really expecting to.

This hasn't stopped me from still looking when we go out. But I no longer call out his name as we do the dog walk.

I've had to explain to wolfiepup that Larry went away and didn't come home. She has accepted it, as most matter of fact 4 year olds do. And she has told me matter of factly at random times how Larry went away, and hasn't come home.

Ginger has coped as well as can be expected. And is resigned to the fact now that if we go out anywhere she will be tied up. In fact she rolls over on her back in complete submission mode. As if she's still doing penance for not bringing Larry back.

She's stopped eating a mile a minute and eats sooo slow now it's ridiculous.

Yesterday I saw her finally lie back in Larry's spot next to wolfiepup's window.

I toy with the idea of bringing in another dog every once in a while, but my heart isn't in it.

Ginger is pretty neurotic as it is, and having both her and Larry at the same time emphasised how much work is involved in breaking in a new dog. Larry was so perfect for us - the two months or so that he was with us felt more like forever... he fit in so well with our routine. Was super affectionate without being over the top with wolfiepup. Came up to me every night after dinner for soft cuddles without being demanding like Ginger. Settled into Sit relatively quickly once I figured out his treat du jour was cheese (only eedjits like Ginger will settle for anything less, aka dry dog food). Was perfect off lead - I've never heard wolfieboy rave any more about a dog than Larry and about how well trained he was, or how well he took direction.

I miss Larry every day and wish he was still with us.

But I guess it's time to let go - because I can finally write this post without tearing up and having my heart break anew.

It is sad because I know lots of people went to a lot of effort to get him out of the pound in the first place. I feel bad about this. A lot. Of all the families he could have gone to, he came to ours and didn't make it past 3 months. And it was because I didn't tie him up and wolfieboy never reinforced the fencing.

That's on us.

I feel like I've betrayed a lot of people's trust. That too, has made me a little wary of bringing in another dog. I don't want to do that again. We're working with Ginger and her escape artist ways. But to have any additional expectations for a new dog, is just too much.

But really, the real reason for just keeping to one dog, is because I don't think I can handle it. In fact, after Ginger goes, perhaps I'll end up being dog free for a little while. Losing 3 dogs in less than 2 years is enough to stop me in my tracks for a while. My heart's just not in it anymore.